when signs point to different directions, where should i go?
this is not a form of ranting... nor do i complain about my situation.
i am just plain confused.
what should i do?
what should i do?
please enlighten me Lord. please.
should i really give up???
give up this dream???
Lord, what is Your plan?
i need to pray. and to meditate. or maybe i just need to sleep.
:| please work now. NOW. and tomorrow!! and forever!!!
i know Lord, i am not the best person on earth. but there's nothing i want more right now than to make this work and finish this thing. please Lord. please. i offer You all of these challenges. please help me. AMEN.
sometimes, plans really screw up
i guess everyone knows the feeling of having planned things and then suddenly, something comes up and everything crashes down.
it's saddening. disappointing. it's like a dream,or a nightmare, that you'd want to escape and wake up from.
you have that feeling of wanting to go back to the time when everything was still set.... you just wanna hold on. but you can't. maybe i just can't. maybe it's not just meant to be. or whut.
these are the times when confusion strikes. cliche. these are the times when you literally don't know what to do and you can't do anything but hope for the best.
i ask God why. and i know that His answers...and plans... are far more perfect than the ones i have set for myself. sometimes i ask, why let me taste the cheese? when He knows that frail as i am, i have indulged and thrown myself into it completely... and then pull the cheese away? but of course, God is good because He chose me to have the cheese even for a while.
cheese is not really a good term. i am not a mouse to be exact or the term "cheese" underlies what could have been.
i am really baffled right now by the situation. but maybe this is not so bad after all. maybe i am really meant to stay here. or not. i don't know. maybe it is still too early to think about these things. maybe there are still other ways. God, what do You plan for me? i know that is great and i am excited for that. please let me understand. please.
yes i am baffled. but i am not worried. i am sad but i am not in despair..
things have changed. and my course of direction can also change. but i know that God is with me and He will direct me.
i am fortunate to had taste of good life and to have that momentary period when i thought i can change everything in an instant. but maybe God is waking me up, waking everyone up... that after all, He is still the one in control. He is still the one who knows what's best. God is good and never will He forsake anyone.
yes my plans are not happening as what i have thought of them to be. but maybe a little chaos can beautify things. God please enlighten me.. AMEN.
-----
just a few weeks ago, i have signed a contract for overseas employment in a very good company which can offer me the job of my dreams. but then, that country is now facing its biggest challenge in all aspects. now, should i continue? do i even have the option in the first place? what do i want? what is essential? God, i know You have plans. i trust You. that is why i will let You decide.
it's saddening. disappointing. it's like a dream,or a nightmare, that you'd want to escape and wake up from.
you have that feeling of wanting to go back to the time when everything was still set.... you just wanna hold on. but you can't. maybe i just can't. maybe it's not just meant to be. or whut.
these are the times when confusion strikes. cliche. these are the times when you literally don't know what to do and you can't do anything but hope for the best.
i ask God why. and i know that His answers...and plans... are far more perfect than the ones i have set for myself. sometimes i ask, why let me taste the cheese? when He knows that frail as i am, i have indulged and thrown myself into it completely... and then pull the cheese away? but of course, God is good because He chose me to have the cheese even for a while.
cheese is not really a good term. i am not a mouse to be exact or the term "cheese" underlies what could have been.
i am really baffled right now by the situation. but maybe this is not so bad after all. maybe i am really meant to stay here. or not. i don't know. maybe it is still too early to think about these things. maybe there are still other ways. God, what do You plan for me? i know that is great and i am excited for that. please let me understand. please.
yes i am baffled. but i am not worried. i am sad but i am not in despair..
things have changed. and my course of direction can also change. but i know that God is with me and He will direct me.
i am fortunate to had taste of good life and to have that momentary period when i thought i can change everything in an instant. but maybe God is waking me up, waking everyone up... that after all, He is still the one in control. He is still the one who knows what's best. God is good and never will He forsake anyone.
yes my plans are not happening as what i have thought of them to be. but maybe a little chaos can beautify things. God please enlighten me.. AMEN.
-----
just a few weeks ago, i have signed a contract for overseas employment in a very good company which can offer me the job of my dreams. but then, that country is now facing its biggest challenge in all aspects. now, should i continue? do i even have the option in the first place? what do i want? what is essential? God, i know You have plans. i trust You. that is why i will let You decide.
21 Years
just a few minutes from now, i will be turning 21 years old.
I certainly thank God for giving me 21 wonderful years of existence.
and as of now, all i can say is that i am full of positive thinking and excited about life :D
i hope and pray that more good things will happen, to me and my family :)
to God be the glory!
Cheers to my 21 years on earth! :D
i love You Lord and Thank You! :D
Love, Clarence :)
I certainly thank God for giving me 21 wonderful years of existence.
and as of now, all i can say is that i am full of positive thinking and excited about life :D
i hope and pray that more good things will happen, to me and my family :)
to God be the glory!
Cheers to my 21 years on earth! :D
i love You Lord and Thank You! :D
Love, Clarence :)
HELLO and WELCOME year 2011
helllllloooooooooooooooo! :)
This is a prosperous, safe, happy and blessed year! :D
God blesses everyone!
Love,
Clarence :D
This is a prosperous, safe, happy and blessed year! :D
God blesses everyone!
Love,
Clarence :D
sudden gush of ideas
yes, this is the last day of the year 2010 and right now, looking at the right side of my blog, i realize how long i've been here... how long i've kept this site and made it as a friend.
2010 has been a very nice year for me and i thank God for all the good things and good people that and who have occurred into my life. 2011 is a great year as well and i am praying and hoping for the best and for God's will.
many things will happen and i am excited to open the gifts that God has in store for me.
since i have placed the title as such, i believe that i should begin the flow of these thoughts that are in my head.
--
i will blog more often.
this has always been the case. but of course, i don't always have the time to do it. or perhaps just the mere willingness to type in the things that i am thinking. first is maybe it's because i am sometimes afraid that people (if ever there are actually people still visiting this...) would judge me based on whatever i will write around here. let's admit it. or rather i admit it. i always feel the urge to blog when i feel something negative or to plainly say it, when i am sad... and since i always remember what my eee13 teacher told us before, "Why would you give other people the reason to mock you?" i don't blog. i simply let the feeling pass away because i know, sooner or later, it will fade away.
when i am happy, i am just too 'tamad' to blog that's why my entries are so incomplete. haha. lame excuse.
i've been planning to change the layout of this site but i guess i still don't have much time.
i'll get there.
i specially need to change my picture here.
--
you should not do things half-heartedly.
why?
because it's even more difficult to succeed.
and by pushing yourself to do things which you don't really like in the first place, you lose your self value. and that's not good.
--
confidence.
i have always wanted myself to be much girly. in the sense that i can wear girly clothes.
i envy girls who can walk around wearing cute dresses because i don't wear those types of clothes. i can wear them but i don't. what's the problem?
me. and my confidence level.
whoever said that even a little confidence goes a long way must be so right.
i have confidence. but i don't have that kind of confidence. yet.
let's see.
--
death.
death is sad. and seeing the people who are close to you... actual people in your life lose someone special is just heartbreaking.
may you all rest in peace.
--
God.
having the opportunity to serve God in your youth should be a very good advantage.
i am getting older and i am little by little, consuming the days of my youth.
i should serve God. now.
---------------------------------
today (December 31) is one of the busiest days in our home.
it's New Year's Eve and it's also the birthday of my Lola! :D
it has been a tradition especially before when our Lola was still living with us that we cook food and have a noisy and happy house. Parang reunion sa Mother's side. :)
--
so there, i just hope for everyone's safety,
nakakangawit yung pwesto ko habang nagbblog.
--
i am re-reading The Alchemist right now.
Good Years ahead! :)
Love,
Clarence
2010 has been a very nice year for me and i thank God for all the good things and good people that and who have occurred into my life. 2011 is a great year as well and i am praying and hoping for the best and for God's will.
many things will happen and i am excited to open the gifts that God has in store for me.
since i have placed the title as such, i believe that i should begin the flow of these thoughts that are in my head.
--
i will blog more often.
this has always been the case. but of course, i don't always have the time to do it. or perhaps just the mere willingness to type in the things that i am thinking. first is maybe it's because i am sometimes afraid that people (if ever there are actually people still visiting this...) would judge me based on whatever i will write around here. let's admit it. or rather i admit it. i always feel the urge to blog when i feel something negative or to plainly say it, when i am sad... and since i always remember what my eee13 teacher told us before, "Why would you give other people the reason to mock you?" i don't blog. i simply let the feeling pass away because i know, sooner or later, it will fade away.
when i am happy, i am just too 'tamad' to blog that's why my entries are so incomplete. haha. lame excuse.
i've been planning to change the layout of this site but i guess i still don't have much time.
i'll get there.
i specially need to change my picture here.
--
you should not do things half-heartedly.
why?
because it's even more difficult to succeed.
and by pushing yourself to do things which you don't really like in the first place, you lose your self value. and that's not good.
--
confidence.
i have always wanted myself to be much girly. in the sense that i can wear girly clothes.
i envy girls who can walk around wearing cute dresses because i don't wear those types of clothes. i can wear them but i don't. what's the problem?
me. and my confidence level.
whoever said that even a little confidence goes a long way must be so right.
i have confidence. but i don't have that kind of confidence. yet.
let's see.
--
death.
death is sad. and seeing the people who are close to you... actual people in your life lose someone special is just heartbreaking.
may you all rest in peace.
--
God.
having the opportunity to serve God in your youth should be a very good advantage.
i am getting older and i am little by little, consuming the days of my youth.
i should serve God. now.
---------------------------------
today (December 31) is one of the busiest days in our home.
it's New Year's Eve and it's also the birthday of my Lola! :D
it has been a tradition especially before when our Lola was still living with us that we cook food and have a noisy and happy house. Parang reunion sa Mother's side. :)
--
so there, i just hope for everyone's safety,
nakakangawit yung pwesto ko habang nagbblog.
--
i am re-reading The Alchemist right now.
Good Years ahead! :)
Love,
Clarence
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