My blog is gradually becoming my rant blog. Sorry for that. On the other hand, I am thinking, why would I blog of things that will make me appear as an unhappy person, right? But isn't it that blogs are meant to showcase one's life's reflections? And therefore, to mirror the truth? What if, just what if, right now I just don't feel like blogging "happily"? I have the right, right?
Right now (Yes, that's the 5th time I said 'right'. Ops, 6th), humor aside, I feel tired. I feel sad but not so much. Maybe I just lack sleep that's why I feel stressed. But definitely, I have a lurking feeling inside that does not belong to the Positive Side. (That, I am not ashamed to admit.) Maybe I am panicking inside. YES. I am panicking inside. Right now I am thinking what I have made out of my God given life and how I changed from the person I was to the person I am right now. But I always know who I want to be. And I am struggling to be that person. I still want to do a lot of things. The feeling of being constrained is somehow making me feel inadequate. I am so dependent on the people around me, at least for now. And I feel weird. Just weird. And sleepy.
Maybe this is the effect of my being so busy. I have so many things to do but right now, I am not able to use my time wisely. I am optimistic. It's just that somehow, the feeling of being sad makes me aware that I still need to live my life to its full essence. Life is not equivalent to fulfilling your responsibilities or carrying the problems of the world in your shoulders. Life means happiness too, and yes, understanding of what and where happiness is.
I love my blog. It instantly makes me feel better.
I am in control but God is in control of me.
Everything will settle and will be fine. I am optimistic. Oh, scrap that. I am sure.
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