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Fulfillment

I guess this word seems very simple but is in fact very rich in meaning.

In a world where it is difficult to find your place and know your purpose, I think it is fulfillment that people are looking for. A sense to make you feel your worth and to make you feel that what you're doing is valuable.

Right now, I honestly admit that there are certain points in my life wherein I can not say that I am fulfilled.

But then, during these times, I always strive to tell myself to not focus on whatever's missing but instead focus on what I can do to make up for the lacking portions.

Today, I have realized that when I feel I lack fulfillment in certain aspects of my life, I should try to be fulfilled in other aspects.

Maybe God is telling me to rest in some aspects first because He also wants me to grow in other aspects and thus, He wants me to learn more and do more. Maybe in the long run, this set-up if better than what I originally want and that this is what is best for me.

Sometimes I can't help but question God why things happen the way they do and I just end up feeling miserable and sad. But I guess in the end, it is better to think that God always has plans for me and that His plans are always for my best interest. I just have to trust His own timing and know that His plans are far greater than whatever I can imagine for myself.

I just have to wait. And of course, do my part-that is instead of wallowing in sadness, try to make the best out of every situation and learn whatever I can learn. God is merciful and he gives grace and wisdom to those who ask.

For now, I am praying for strength. I hope God gives me strength to accept the moment I am in right now and the strength to act whenever I have the opportunity to change something.

Please make me stronger and smarter. Amen.

When there's nothing else...

I do not know why I particularly chose to write the title above even though I know it does not make sense out of whatever emotion/s I have right now.

Yes... This is one of the moments when I feel that only blogging can make my mind clearer. One of the moments, when only writing whatever that runs in my head can make me stop and see, and perhaps clearly see what is going on.

I know I am the kind of person who always wants to choose to be happy and optimistic... but just for today, and just like all the other days when I said some other excuses... please, please allow me to wander towards the lonely side of the road, put on a sad face and somehow stop pretending that everything is...............okay, let me stop. I can't even type that.

Reality is, I can't even stay sad (or maybe TOOOO sad) for so long. Why? Because it makes me feel that I am ungrateful. To God and to everything that He is giving and bestowing upon me.

I know, recently, some things are going wrong and I feel bad about certain things. It seems that what I have hoped for in some aspects aren't really what they are and I don't know, i just feel not so joyful sometimes and I just feel that I am gonna fall into some state of depression or loneliness or whatsoever or maybe I just don't feel like I am ok or I do not know...

That was nonsense and erroneous... .And that is the exact reason why I do not want to choose to be lonely. Because in the same way that the 'sense' of the previously written run-on sentence vanished, when I deprived myself of pauses and periods, the moment I decide to give in to my rants and to my whatnots without really thinking if choosing to be lonely is that worth it, I lose my sense and often make mistakes.

I am not saying that I should not be sad or I should lie to myself about being sad. But I guess, it is enough that I acknowledge to myself that I am sad, something is not ok, and then think of ways how to get out of the situation I am in. I guess the bad thing is when I start to wallow in loneliness and lose myself in the process... and worse, lose the opportunities to get out of loneliness because I am too busy pretending to be lonely for the sake of it.

Now, why do I feel this way?

Because I feel that one aspect of my life has no growth.
What I think of as a solution?
Grow in other aspects.

Some people blame others for the bad things that happen to them or the bad situation that they are in. But I guess, everything really depends on your own choices and perspective. It all depends on how you look at the situation and whether you can see the advantage you can get in whatever situation you might face.

I guess it also depends on realizing how blessed you are and appreciating the things you have. As one instructor said, when you don't like a situation that you can't really change immediately and you have to endure it for some reason, just make a thank you list and think of all the positive things you acquire from that situation or person.

Being negative  does not help! You only make yourself suffer more.
Be pro-active. Be energetic in searching for ways on how to improve your life and yourself.

Most often, other people are so busy minding their own businesses that's why it is better to avoid thinking too much about what others would think or say. Say what you want, assert yourself especially if you believe that you don't get what you deserve. But never forget Respect.

Use your time wisely. Every second is important so don't waste it feeling blue.
Be thankful to God and realize that He puts you there for a reason.
Trust His reasons because they are always the best and someday, everything will make sense and you will realize why it became such since from the start.

Now.....I guess the title is really wrong... because there will always be something... nothingness is just nothing.