when signs point to different directions, where should i go?
this is not a form of ranting... nor do i complain about my situation.
i am just plain confused.
what should i do?
what should i do?
please enlighten me Lord. please.
should i really give up???
give up this dream???
Lord, what is Your plan?
i need to pray. and to meditate. or maybe i just need to sleep.
:| please work now. NOW. and tomorrow!! and forever!!!
i know Lord, i am not the best person on earth. but there's nothing i want more right now than to make this work and finish this thing. please Lord. please. i offer You all of these challenges. please help me. AMEN.
sometimes, plans really screw up
i guess everyone knows the feeling of having planned things and then suddenly, something comes up and everything crashes down.
it's saddening. disappointing. it's like a dream,or a nightmare, that you'd want to escape and wake up from.
you have that feeling of wanting to go back to the time when everything was still set.... you just wanna hold on. but you can't. maybe i just can't. maybe it's not just meant to be. or whut.
these are the times when confusion strikes. cliche. these are the times when you literally don't know what to do and you can't do anything but hope for the best.
i ask God why. and i know that His answers...and plans... are far more perfect than the ones i have set for myself. sometimes i ask, why let me taste the cheese? when He knows that frail as i am, i have indulged and thrown myself into it completely... and then pull the cheese away? but of course, God is good because He chose me to have the cheese even for a while.
cheese is not really a good term. i am not a mouse to be exact or the term "cheese" underlies what could have been.
i am really baffled right now by the situation. but maybe this is not so bad after all. maybe i am really meant to stay here. or not. i don't know. maybe it is still too early to think about these things. maybe there are still other ways. God, what do You plan for me? i know that is great and i am excited for that. please let me understand. please.
yes i am baffled. but i am not worried. i am sad but i am not in despair..
things have changed. and my course of direction can also change. but i know that God is with me and He will direct me.
i am fortunate to had taste of good life and to have that momentary period when i thought i can change everything in an instant. but maybe God is waking me up, waking everyone up... that after all, He is still the one in control. He is still the one who knows what's best. God is good and never will He forsake anyone.
yes my plans are not happening as what i have thought of them to be. but maybe a little chaos can beautify things. God please enlighten me.. AMEN.
-----
just a few weeks ago, i have signed a contract for overseas employment in a very good company which can offer me the job of my dreams. but then, that country is now facing its biggest challenge in all aspects. now, should i continue? do i even have the option in the first place? what do i want? what is essential? God, i know You have plans. i trust You. that is why i will let You decide.
it's saddening. disappointing. it's like a dream,or a nightmare, that you'd want to escape and wake up from.
you have that feeling of wanting to go back to the time when everything was still set.... you just wanna hold on. but you can't. maybe i just can't. maybe it's not just meant to be. or whut.
these are the times when confusion strikes. cliche. these are the times when you literally don't know what to do and you can't do anything but hope for the best.
i ask God why. and i know that His answers...and plans... are far more perfect than the ones i have set for myself. sometimes i ask, why let me taste the cheese? when He knows that frail as i am, i have indulged and thrown myself into it completely... and then pull the cheese away? but of course, God is good because He chose me to have the cheese even for a while.
cheese is not really a good term. i am not a mouse to be exact or the term "cheese" underlies what could have been.
i am really baffled right now by the situation. but maybe this is not so bad after all. maybe i am really meant to stay here. or not. i don't know. maybe it is still too early to think about these things. maybe there are still other ways. God, what do You plan for me? i know that is great and i am excited for that. please let me understand. please.
yes i am baffled. but i am not worried. i am sad but i am not in despair..
things have changed. and my course of direction can also change. but i know that God is with me and He will direct me.
i am fortunate to had taste of good life and to have that momentary period when i thought i can change everything in an instant. but maybe God is waking me up, waking everyone up... that after all, He is still the one in control. He is still the one who knows what's best. God is good and never will He forsake anyone.
yes my plans are not happening as what i have thought of them to be. but maybe a little chaos can beautify things. God please enlighten me.. AMEN.
-----
just a few weeks ago, i have signed a contract for overseas employment in a very good company which can offer me the job of my dreams. but then, that country is now facing its biggest challenge in all aspects. now, should i continue? do i even have the option in the first place? what do i want? what is essential? God, i know You have plans. i trust You. that is why i will let You decide.
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