hi

nako nako nako nako.
ayun. hm, talaga nga naman oh.
at ayoko magrant.
hahahahahah.

ang bilis ko antukin these past few days. at dapat talaga ay hindi ako nagbblog nuh kasi dapat eh nagpapakaresponsable na ako. hahah :)

anu ba yun.
hm, wala lang.
nais ko lang dumaan at mag-hi sa iyo.
isang malaking HI.

sa susunod na lang ulit.

yehey :P

thank you Lord for everything.

hm, ayun lang naman :)

hm, seldom do we realize the worth of things around us until we see them in a different perspective :)

aja :)

mwahuggs :)

hm, there are so many things to do and yeah, i should get going. :)

God be with us all :)

wala lang, bigla ko naisip si hello kitty :) haha :)) i used to like her as a kid :) huggs

indoc

yes yes!
today was the indoc of the 07b apps.
hm, i decided to go.
it is my first time to watch an indoc on the perspective of an ARM member.
it was fun.
afterwards, our ARM head treated us to dinner.

haha. although i spent my whole sunday there, i think it is just alright.
i need to catch up in terms of my "list of things to do".

i'm totally inspired by the quotation i read a while ago.
don't worry about making the right decision.
work to make your decision right.
asteeeg di ba? :) asteeeg talaga!
so i think this will help me feel better towards my decisions in life.

ideally,there should be no pressures in deciding.

ah wala lang.
hm, napanood ko na rin yung v for vendetta!
ang bigatin, ang ganda. ang lalim nung movie!
we are all v. hahahah :))

hm, cge cge. mwahhuggs :P

when my patience is put to the limit

patience is a virtue.
everyone knows this fact.

a dull saturday morning.
i decided not to go to our org's outreach primarily because i would like to take a rest. besides, i need to go to my dentist because it was two months ago when my braces were last adjusted.

i went out of the house at around 12:30 due to my mother's demand.
i arrived at the clinic at around 12:45. alas. the dentist will be available at 2pm!

binary decision.
will i wait and stay or will i go out and return later?
i decided to do the latter.

i returnedat around 4pm!
alas again, the dentist is already unavailable...

do you experience that kind of feeling?
you are tempted to feel irritated but you settle to feel nothing.
you are tempted to sigh and to moan and to complain yet you choose to accpet the fact taht you have made a wrong decision.

my mother was mad at me.
she said that i don't realize the value of money since the cost of that unowrthy trip wzs 120pesos! daig ko pa ang nagpunta ng Maynila.....

kainis. ang sira ko talaga.

am i that impatient that i can't wait for about an hour without anything to do??
hm, i don't really like the feeling of sitting somewhere when i know that i could have been somewhere better but i guess i should learn that sometimes, i need to concede to the fact that there are better choices and mostly, those transpire when you decide to stay where you are and let patience prevail.

before i arrived at four pm there, i told myself that i will wait for her... that i will stay and WAIT. but alas, the moment i decided to stay and WAIT was the same moment that she is already gone. RAR. when will be the right time to wait?

RAR. matalino naman ako... bakit sa mga ganitong pagkakataon parang ang ewan ewan ng mga desisyon ko? ayoko namang lalong isipin na "sana nagoutreach na lang ako"

this is another blog entry of my raaaannntssss...
kailan kaya ako magbblog ng masaya?
but honestly, when i am not sad, i don't feel anything.

though i know, ideally, i need to feel happy.
it's because there are lots of things that i should be happy about.
but can i blame myself if sometimes the mood of sadness just dawns on me like a curtain that is not willing to be touched by the wind?
or am i just thinking too hard?
o baka naman aspeting <3 lang ito? lovelife? huh?

hm, ang alam ko, maraming rason para sumaya.
at oo nga, tama naman. piliin mong sumaya.

may nagsabi sa akin,
kung gusto mong sumaya, magpasaya ka ng iba.
ang galing di ba?
hm, sinu naman kaya ang mapapasaya ko?
hahaha.

hm, patience is a virtue.
it pays to be patient......

mga kantang pang-valentines

hindi ko na ilalagay yung mga titles ah :P
jahe yung iba eh :P pero obvious naman eh! :P
hm, may dedication dapat eh, pero joke na lang ;P

There was nothing to say, the day she left,Just filled the suitcase full of regrets.I hailed a taxi in the rain,Looking for some place to ease the pain.Then like an answered prayer,I turned around and found you there. Chorus:You really know where to start,Fixing my broken heart.You really know what to do,Your emotional tools,Can cure any fool,Whose dreams have fallen apartFixing a broken heart. Now I don't understand, what I'm going through.There must be a plan, that led me to you,Because the hurt just disappears,In every moment that you are near.Just like an answered prayer,You make the loneliness easy to bear. You really know where to start,Fixing my broken heart.You really know what to do,Your emotional tools,Can cure any fool,Whose dreams have fallen apartFixing a broken heart. Soon the rain will stop falling baby,And I'll forget the past,Cause here we are at last. Chorus(slightly different): You really know where to start,Fixing a broken heart. <-- this line the "a" is "my" is prev. chorusYou really know what to do,Your emotional tools,Can cure any fool,Whose dreams have fallen apartFixing a broken heart.


Wish I could be the one The one who could give you love The kind of love you really need Wish I could say to you That I'll always stay with you But baby that's not me You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you Promise you forever, baby that's something I can't do Oh I could say that I'll be all you need But that would be a lie I know I'd only hurt you I know I'd only make you cry I'm not the one you're needing I love you, goodbye I hope someday you can Find some way to understand I'm only doing this for you I don't really wanna go But deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do You'll find someone who'll be the one that I could never be Who'll give you something better Than the love you'll find with me Oh I could say that I'll be all you need But that would be a crime I know I'd only hurt you I know I'd only make you cry I'm not the one you're needing I love you, goodbye Leaving someone when you love someone Is the hardest thing to do When you love someone as much as I love you Oh I don't wanna leave you Baby it tears me up inside But I'll never be the one you're needing I love you, goodbye Baby, its never ganna work out I love you, goodbye

What day is it? And in what month?This clock never seemed so aliveI can't keep up and I can't back downI've been losing so much timeCause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to doNothing to loseAnd it's you and me and all of the peopleAnd I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of youAll of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out rightI'm tripping on wordsYou've got my head spinningI don't know where to go from hereCause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to doNothing to proveAnd it's you and me and all of the peopleAnd I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of youThere's something about you nowI can't quite figure outEverything she does is beautifulEverything she does is rightCause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to doNothing to loseAnd it's you and me and all of the peopleAnd I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of youAnd me and all of the people with nothing to doNothing to proveAnd it's you and me and all of the peopleAnd I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of youWhat day is it?And in what month?This clock never seemed so alive


Another day passes by and I'm dreamin' of youAnd though I know it might be just a dream, dreams come trueSomewhere, somehow I'll find youeven though it takes all of my life(all of my life, ooh hoh)REFRAIN 1And when I fin'lly do (and when I fin'lly do)I know inside my heart (I know inside my heart)That there could be no doubtI knew it from the startCHORUS(You are the one)You are the one that I've been searching formy whole life through(You are the one)You are the one that I've been looking forand now that I found youI'll never let you goI'll hold you in my arms'Cause you are the oneAnother night spent aloneand I'm lyin' in the dark (I'm lyin' in the dark)I don't know your namebut I know your voice sings to my heartA sweet melody, a symphony of loveREFRAIN 2I know that come one day (I know that come one day)A time for you and me (a time for you and me)To fin'lly be together'Cause I know we're meant to beCHORUS(You are the one)You are the one that I've been searching formy whole life through(You are the one)You are the one that I've been looking forand now that I found youI'll never let you goI'll hold you in my armsBRIDGEForever is meaningless wordeven though you're here with meHere by my side, here in my heartAD LIBI'll never let you goI'll hold you in my armsREPEAT CHORUS 2X'Cause you are the oneYou are the oneYou are the one.ooh

Come and lay here beside meI'll tell you how i feelThere's a secret inside meI'm ready to revealTo have you close, embrace your heartWith my loveOver and overThese are things that i promiseMy promise to youChorus:For all of my lifeYou are the one, i will love you faithfully foreverAll of my life you are the oneI'll give to you my greatest loveFor all of my life.Ooohhh..O yeah...Let me lay down beside youThere's something you should knowI pray that you decide toOpen your heart and let me showEnchanted worlds of fairy talesA wonderland of loveThese are things that i promiseMy promise to youChorusAll of my lifeWith all of my heartThese are things that i promise

ahy, ayoko na nga. hahah
ciao na lang :P

may exam kami sa wednesday.wala lang :P

God blesses me! :)
huggs :)

dahil malapit na ang araw ng mga puso...

where did that come from? where did the idea that valentine's day is a day for the hearts? a day for love, supposedly? hm, okie, a little historical background here...

"One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death."http://www.history.com/minisite.do?content_type=Minisite_Generic&content_type_id=882&display_order=1&mini_id=1084

ah so st.valentine's inspire others to pursue their love for the object of their love. yah, i think so.. hm..

even in my previous blog entries, i have always disdained the romantic aspect of my life. yah i know, i am not that open in terms of this thing. i do have crushes, i get kilig whenever my crush makes me pansin /*duh, what a linggo...*/, i sometimes long for soemone to be with me whenever i am alone...i sometimes daydream of being with a special person instead of my own imaginary friend who has always lurk with me during my "loner-ako-moments". hahahah. and so?

ngayon, araw na naman ng mga puso. araw na naman ng pag-ibig? huh? ang corny mo clarencia.
anyway, sabi ni yuda at ng bestfriend ko, valentine's day is "single awareness day". in the very words of my bestfriend, she said, "valentine's day is the day wherein singles are made to feel miserable,..." hm, hm, hm,... hahaha. and so?

i don't really feel miserable despite the fact that i am single.
i don't really get the feeling that i need to involve myself in a commitment any time soon.
i don't really see myself being addicted to this so called "love" and cry afterwards.
i don't want to be open to the idea that i must have someone special in my life in order to feel complete.
duh? ironically,
i admit that i fancy the idea of having someone whom you can just love amidst everything. /*yuck, lagot ako sa tatay ko, balita ko eh nababasa niya yung mga entries ko dito! at mantakin mo nga naman, paano kaya niya nalaman ang url nito? huh? hm, ang hirap namang magbago ng url kasi eto na yung alam ng iba. shucks talaga.*/
anyway, to continue....
hm, i don't have a heart of steel and honestly, at times, it gets too tempting to break my defenses, remove my walls and let myself be covered with the love that has made this world shout for more.

kanina lang, i had this conversation with my mother.
Clarence: ma, kilala mo ba si /*insert name here...ah, kunwari EDIT ang name niya*/ EDIT? hm, alam mo crush ko yunh. kasi ganito at ganyan. tapos, ganito pa.... hm, blah blah blah blah..."
Mama: "hm, wag muna anak. hindi pa yan panahon. sinasabi ko sa iyo, marami kang panahon sa ganyan. " and so on and so on....
tapos bago lumabas ng sm marilao, nakita namin yung isang teacher ko!
syempre like everyone else, ang bati sa akin ay
Teacher:" aba, gumaganda ka ah. /*wahahaahh pagbigyan na ako,,, :P pero sinabi niya tlga yunh. tas naopen up nanaman ang tanong. the one million dollar question*/ may boyfriend na ba yan?
hahahaha. ASA. ASA na meron. syempre wala di ba!
tas ayunh, sinabihan na rin niya ako ng napakaraming bagay.

REASONS WHY I SHOULD NOT HAVE A BOYFRIEND:? huh, ahm, erase....
REASONS WHY i SHOULD STAY SINGLE: according to my teacher and my mother. :)

• unahin ang career at pagaaral.
• wag ka muna sa commitments pero okie lang magentertain, mga kaibigan.
• masasaktan ka lang, mahirap masaktan iha!
• iba na ang panahon ngayon at nakakatakot ang mga lalaki sa panahon ngayon.
• mark my word: my soul mate ka at hindi ka tatandang dalaga.
• may itsura ka naman kaya wag ka magmadali sa ganyan.
• "hindi ko type yung sinasabi mo.at hindi namin siya kilala ng papa mo." -->mama ko. wahahahahah. natawa ako dito, sobra. :))

hm, at dahil araw ng mga puso, at muli akong napaalalahanan ng mga ganitong bagay, anu na kaya?

hm,....

being single or committed is not the issue here. it's about the fact that in this world wherein every emotion and feeling is sensationalized to the extremes, will you have enough guts and temperament to settle for your own idealism and timeline? will you not be blinded by the impression that you need to have these commitments in order to be happy or that you need to hold someone else's hand to make it through in life?

these days, i hold my own hand a lot...just so i can know the feeling of holding a hand. but i guess, this entry will always remind me of how i should begin to trust myself and my future to what God has planned for me. it may be too tempting to plunge in the world of romantic love especially when things are seeming to be too good to be true but self control and the right frame of mind will always serve as the steering wheel towards the right path. i know, i am not perfect in obedience. i might eat my words and end up falling in love or being with someone. but i guess that if ever that time comes, i must make it sure to myself that i made the decision with my whole heart, mind and soul..that i am willing to stand by it and that i was not just pressured.hm, toinks.

ang seryoso ko.

ang sa akin lang naman, darating din ang panahon na yun. hindi ko alam kung kailan pero kapag naman binigay ng Diyos, mararamdaman mo iyun di ba? mahirap masaktan at ayoko talagang maramdaman ang sakit na ganun. ang totoo kasi, marami ka pang dapat gawin na ibang bagay at ang aspetong ito ng buhay ay hindi muna dapat pinoproblema o iniisip.. ayun pala ang point nito. hm, nakakatawa naman ako. actually hindi ko naman siya iniisip talaga. napaisip lang ako dahil nga siguro magvavalentine's day na ulit! haha :))

bata pa naman kasi at may iba pa dapat na priorities. huh? yun ba yun? haha, ah, Bathala na. hindi naman kasi talaga dapat pang binoblog ang mga ganitong issue..!!

basta ang alam ko, ang Valentine's Day ay hindi lamang para sa mga may karelasyon in a romantic sense. ito ay para sa lahat ng nagmamahal at minamahal.... may agape naman di ba?

mahal tayo lahat ng Diyos at ang katotohanang iyon ay sapat na upang isipin na worth icommemorate ang Valentine's Day.

haha, isang malaking whatever! :P

bakit ash wednesday? -- my homework

i got this answer from http://www.gotquestions.org/Ash-Wednesday.html

"Ash Wednesday is the day Lent begins. It occurs forty days before Good Friday. The “official” name of Ash Wednesday is “the Day of Ashes.” The reason the day became known as Ash Wednesday is that it is forty days before Good Friday, which will always be a Wednesday."

hm, so this is the explanation.... :P
wel, why forty?
as we know, forty is a significant number in the Bible. :)

ayun ayunh. :P

today is Ash Wednesday

For the Catholics, this is the start of the Lenten season.

a question was raised during lunch. it was raised by a non-catholic.
"bakit wednesday.?"

hm, i think that's my homework.

i uninstalled Yahoo Mssgr from my laptop last night.
and right now i am using our family pc....
i installed the Ym beta version here but i am not using it.

hahahah, clap for me!!! clap for me!
thou shall not fall into temptation. tsk.

weeirrrddyyy :P

anyway, i need to pm someone for the sake of someone else.
hahah.

hm, throw all your negativities away :)

smile the day.. :)

ah!!! i attended the convocation pala kanina,wala lang sort of preserving the events of this day...
hm, we had bandage lessons sa cwts.
i was not late sa es11! yahoo, i almost thought that i will miss the quiz, wahehehe..

hm, anu pa ba?
ah, ayun lang naman.
i started reading the book on happiness na and actualy i find it nice although like its warning, the things placed there are the things that are already in you.

happiness should be rediscovered.
hm, obvious ba?
parang ayus ata ang mood ko ngayon!
haha :)

good for me :P

aba dapat masustain ito nuh.
hm, hindi pa ako naghahapunan.
ang daming tao kanina sa simbahan!
umaapaw ang simbahan ng marilao.

i love my religion. wala lang.
i had so many conversations about religion starting last night.

hm, far from temptations, far away, lalalala....

hm, naisip ko lang!
\ang dalas ko ng kumakain ng ice cream! almost everyday or every other day.
gusto ko ng cake, yung masarap na cake. at gusto ko rin ng bananachips. huh? biglang nagcrave?
pero ayoko ng bananachips na mamantika. yay. anu ba yan.
sabi kasi ng mama ko pumapayat daw ako!
o baka nabubulag lang siya sa eyebags ko dahil sa pagpupuyat ko!
yay, hindi ko pa natatanong kung may pasok kami tom sa math 114!!!

babush :P

when does a boring life begin?

recently i find myself in a fleeting yet stationary state of melancholy. i am not sure of the reason but it seems that the days of being happy have subsided for a while... yes, i am fighting the urge to sulk. i am fighting myself from feeling the paranoia that is haunting me.i am alleviating myself from being a damsel in distress primarily because i don't want any prince to arrive.

it just seems that my days are becoming so usual. or so i thought?
it seems that i am indulging myself so much of the superficiality that baffles this world with immaterial concepts of nothingness.or am i just being plain sarcastic once again?

surreal. this is how i describe things when i think that everything fits into place. yet surreal is also the same word that fits my situation although i know, i am far from feeling the same sensation.

for two instances this week, a question that is so ordinary has made me thought of something extraordinary...

Friend: what is your hobby?
I: reading, i guess so...
F: huh? eh parang hindi ka nga mahilig magbasa eh...
I: huh, talaga? hm, mahilig ako magbasa, hindi lang halata. at kakaiba kasi yung mga binabasa ko.

but honestly, that conversation stirred me up.
tama siya, ako ang taong walang hobby.
siguro kaya naiisip kong boring ang buhay, o boring nga ba? ayokong sumuko sa kaisipang iyon.
it's because i am still fighting, fighting with my own tempting self, so that the question i have posted as title of this blog entry is not meant to have the word "my" instead of "a".

i am not inclined into sports. i am proud to claim that badminton and jackstone are the only games that i truly enjoy. i don't want to sweat, i don't want to wear those sporty attires and tire my heart out in the gym. basically because, i am nopt permitted to "exhaust" my heart. hahaha.
i am not into anime, not that much.... not in an addicted mode.. but hey, i do watch some particular series!!! when i have the time, that is.
i am not into music...perhaps, it's because i am too darn lazy to bring with me any source of music. i do have the choice actually to bring some mp3s or use my phone but i just opt not to. katakot kasi sa mata ng mga masasamang loob? eh?
i am into arts. yes, i am. i like drawing, painting and skecthing. when i was in high school , i used to join poster making contests. my collection of art materials used to be complete--from pastels, to watercolors to colored pencils and colored pens. but that was before. haha, i rarely even hold a pencil in my hand these days for the sake of art! i mean, io draw things before but more of them were usually abstract things, not the anime thingy that is most drawn by most people.
i am not into computer games. well i have not delved into RPGs but i guess,i easily get bored in dealing with a fake environment wherein every movement is simulated and artificial. pepsi, i want the real thing. but i ma planning to actually join an online kingdom and build my castle theer... i'm planning to be the princess of my own land and be who i am, the one who's unafraid to dare and to bold my identity...or is that quite addicting? haha, i do not want to get addicted. yikes, halohalo na naman.
i am into nature. yes, i even planned of becoming an environmental engineer! thing is, i don't grow a garden.... not so much of an outward hobby. more of an inner hobby. ah, i mean, caring for Mother Earth!
i am into cooking. yes, but not that much.
i am into cross stitching and crocheting! but i just don't do those things now..

hm, i think i get my own point here.
i even blurted out a joke.
hobby ko ang magtravel from diliman to marilao and vice versa.
nyay. di nga?haha
i don't want to get addicted perhaps to the pleasure that these things[hobbies] can give me and in the process, result to being negligent of my own real responsibilities. however, i know that i need to maintain a balance among the things that i must juggle in this life. my life is definitely not one dimensional. what i must do therefore is to make the most out of what God has given me because a boring life only starts when you have succumbed to the fact that you are indeed leading a boring life. and as for me, boring equates worthless... i must therefore persevere to continuously jest my senses and let my enthusiasm prevail.

an idle mind is the devil's workshop. ika nga di ba??

and so, i am now grabbing a book, a book that is all about happiness. :)
and i know, that this solitary phase will soon fade into oblivion as i sing psalms and recover the pieces of what i should really be.

lastly, don't miss out the fun. :)
hahahah,EEE days nga pala ngayon. hm, nasan ako? nasa bahay!
ang aga aga ko umuwi. eh kasi naman. nyay. :P


hm,

if i am to accomplish greater things, i must bear a greater heart.

plugging in; mixed as usual.

okay so i went home at around 9pm, yeah i think so.
i had a funny day. i'm not going to elaborate on the details. but it was really funny.

yesterday i had the realization that i should always have a resolution for the day. i think it helps me to become a better person and change the things that i really want to change. i don't want to pursue my not so good mood especially now that i am quite tired of frowning and sulking.

do the thing you can't do... this struck me. i sooper like bo sanchez and francis kong! unfortunately, i don't have all their books because they are so expensive and i like stopped na kaya form buying books cause i don't really get to read them that much! i mean, i read them once or twice or thrice and then, there you go... hehem but perhaps, if i have my own money na, i'll not hesitate to splurge on books! honestly.

yesterday, on my way home, i have talked to one of the alumnus of my Alma Mater in hs. he told me how he landed on his present job and how he managed to survive the odds of climbing into the corporate world. he even shared weith me the 'diskarte thing', saying that their batch valedictorian ended up in a call center agent because she was not able to pass the licensure examination for accountants. hm, pressure develops but i immediately dismiss the thought. i remember the fact that pressure only develops when you begin to question your own ability.

"minsan gusto ko lang magpakapagod sa ibang bagay"-- i keep on telling this line to myself. pampalubag loob siguro but i know that i should be efficient soon. i need to go back to the me who have brought me here. wah, hm, i am torn, really, between this and that. shucks. anyway my point is sabi nga ni Dora, "for you to get somewhere, you must decide that you don't want to stay from where you are...." hm, and i don't want here.

leadership. i have been so familiar with this term. since gs days, i have been bombarded with the question, "what is leadership?". every year, i have a different answer.which i think is improving. i even talked abouit this concept or way of life as i call it to a bunch of people, my co-leaders to be exact. my school has given me so many opportunities to stand in front and say my views on anything that concerns the welfare of the student body...hm.......oh well. that was before i came to UP. the point? i'm still searching for it

goodnight blogger. i think i need to sleep and rest. :)