A Guide To Making Decisions
Because I badly need one to look into every now and then.
OK. So I think I just messed up. Messed up quite badly.
I am not really feeling happy..
I feel so selfish and I feel so embarrassed.
Yes, somehow I am wishing that can turn back time and maybe if I can, I would reverse my decision. I don't know. Or not.
Remorse aside, Oh, I can't set aside remorse.
Dbakfucrh732t475q72trx gqugxerqtcr7wr.
DAMN.
I know I am stressed when I eat any food I can see and the only way to stop me is brush my teeth and wear my retainers. I ate a bag of Potato chips without any guilt just because I thought I needed a break. Yes, I am feeling this stress for a week now. I know I don;t have to feel stressed but all of these emotions came from my inability to focus in decision making.
But really, all things aside, and just looking at what I really want, I made the right decision. But considering others and my situation, I feel so bad. So what is more right?
STOP COMPLAINING.
Thus part was meant to give you a guide in making decisions. SO here you go.
---
Making decisions is not always easy but no matter how hard it is, you have to decide and think that making decision is not difficult at all.
Walk your way through it. Breath, and give yourself time to think properly and to consider every other possibility you can think.
1. Define your problem. It is best if you can bring it down to 2. Either YES or NO. BLACK or WHITE. Somehow, choose your bet. Like what you will choose if you are forced to make a decision at that very moment. Take note of that.
2. Ask the opinions of your lovedones. Ask the opinions of people going for YES and people going for NO.
3. Know who is the majority. I know Peer Pressure is a sensitive issue and you don;t really want to do something just because everyone else does it but maybe there is a particular reason why everyone else is doing it. And you have to know that and to consider that. Because suffering the consequences alone is not really fun at all. compare this with your original decision.
4. RESEARCH. Verify. KNOW THE FACTS. Fearing something that might not exist at all is not cool at all. It deprives you of learning and experience. Know the TRUTH. Find FACTS BY YOURSELF. FIND things which can convince you. Find Scientific evidence.
5. PRAY FIRST BEFORE MAKING THE TABLE. PRAY FOR A CLEAR MIND AND HONEST HEART. After you have heard all the sides, STOP ASKING OTHERS. START ASKING YOURSELF. MAKE THE TABLE. You can make 4 boxes. 2 columns, 2 rows. The division is of course, PROS and CONS and the other is MIND and HEART. The Mind and Heart separation can be eliminated depending on whatever you feel but this table is so important. REMEMBER, STOP ASKING OTHER PEOPLE's OPINIONS.It is very important that you sit through the problem and give yourself ample thinking time.
5. While Listing, here are the points to consider.
-What do you really want? Somehow, there is that small percentage of you thinking about one thing. If by any chance, you can't really think of what you want, imagine yourself doing that thing or going with that particular decision. Can you see yourself with that decision?
-Consider the present and future tense effects of the decision. Do you feel nice or can you at least see yourself doing it? How do you feel? get in touch with your emotions. Face the fact. I guess it is important to face the fact that you need to make a decision and with no holds barred, just list everything.
-List the consequences. CAN YOU BEAR THE RESULTS? Which seem more bearable?
-Know yourself. Know your character and your personality and make it a basis if you think you can bear the results. As for me, I think I have a hard time when I know I hurt people. I value relationships. I also value family. I also value health. I am indecisive and I might regret a decision. But I am optimistic. And I believe I have a powerful mind, with God's grace I know I can manage. Thing is, if all these values are conflicting within the decision making itself, it's really bad. And way confusing!
-For whom are you making the decision?
-How long will the results last?
-What will you miss if you choose one over the other? Is it worth it? Can you stand missing it? Will you have one more chance to experience the same thing?
-What will be the effect on the people around you? To your family? To your workplace? To your friends? to yourself?
-Have you done or received things in the past which should affect your decision?
-If you do one thing,can you manage to avoid its consequences? or at least make yourself believe that you won't have the consequences? If then, maybe choosing that is not too bad after all?
-WHICH HAS MORE BENEFITS TO THE PRESENT AND FUTURE?
-Who are you doing it for?
-WHICH HAS SURER EFFECTS?
6. Pray. Pray so hard and entrust everything to GOD. Pray that you are making the right decision. And just in case it is not right, Pray to God to help you make it right.
7. Take the LEAP. Make the decision. And stop thinking about it. THERE YOU HAVE IT. YOU HAVE THE DECISION ALREADY. LISTEN TO NO ONE. You'll only get confused if you listen to others again or of you weigh things again. Believe that God has guided you throughout the process and that whatever happens, GOD IS GOOD and He will not forsake you. TRUST IN HIM that HE helped you in making the BEST decision and that it is what it is good for you.
8. MAKE YOUR DECISION AND NEVER LOOK BACK...because if you do, you might just retract your decision and go the exact opposite. Remember all the efforts you put through in making the decision and reward yourself by going through with it. Most often, you will just regret by changing your decision. I guess instincts also work here. Just go for that first decision and have the guts to stand by what you chose. You are a GROWN UP now and you need to make up your mind. Waste no time.
9. PRAY AGAIN. And enjoy your decision. AND STOP ASKING OTHERS' opinion! JUST GIVE YOURSELF QUIET TIME. AND RELAX.
---
Yes you did your decision. But what if results are not so good?
Well, you can not do anything but to mend it with goodness and with excellence.
If you mess up, it is natural to feel bad and to be lost. But believe that people forget bad things when good things replace them. Do your best to do good things to people and to amend for whatever mistake you have done. Say sorry and be sincere.
If they do not understand you, understand them. Just be patient. Know that you chose that decision and you have to stand by the consequences no matter what. Don;t blame yourself because you never would have known what would really happen.
STOP THE STRESS and JUST BE HAPPY. JUST BE WORRY FREE. If you keep on worrying, your attitude might be more unlikable and you might just aggravate whatever the bad effect of your decision was. So stop worrying and just out a smile on to your face. EXPLAIN YOUR SIDE ONCE and then BE OPTIMISTIC.. FORGET that there was such an issue.
LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKE. and PROMISE YOURSELF TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME.
---
Making DECISIONS is really a very important skill and you owe it to yourself to think things through. DO NOT BE SWAYED!
If all else fail and you feel so doomed like I do now, SAY TO YOURSELF
"IT IS OK" 100 times.
Clarence,
SAY YOU ARE WELL AND ALL IS WELL WITH YOU AND GOD SHALL HEAR YOUR WORDS AND MAKE THEM TRUE.
OK?
YOU CAN DO IT.
you are a grown up already.
MAKE A CHOICE AND STAND BY IT.
and believe that YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE with the GRACE OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST.
AMEN.
OK. So I think I just messed up. Messed up quite badly.
I am not really feeling happy..
I feel so selfish and I feel so embarrassed.
Yes, somehow I am wishing that can turn back time and maybe if I can, I would reverse my decision. I don't know. Or not.
Remorse aside, Oh, I can't set aside remorse.
Dbakfucrh732t475q72trx gqugxerqtcr7wr.
DAMN.
I know I am stressed when I eat any food I can see and the only way to stop me is brush my teeth and wear my retainers. I ate a bag of Potato chips without any guilt just because I thought I needed a break. Yes, I am feeling this stress for a week now. I know I don;t have to feel stressed but all of these emotions came from my inability to focus in decision making.
But really, all things aside, and just looking at what I really want, I made the right decision. But considering others and my situation, I feel so bad. So what is more right?
STOP COMPLAINING.
Thus part was meant to give you a guide in making decisions. SO here you go.
---
Making decisions is not always easy but no matter how hard it is, you have to decide and think that making decision is not difficult at all.
Walk your way through it. Breath, and give yourself time to think properly and to consider every other possibility you can think.
1. Define your problem. It is best if you can bring it down to 2. Either YES or NO. BLACK or WHITE. Somehow, choose your bet. Like what you will choose if you are forced to make a decision at that very moment. Take note of that.
2. Ask the opinions of your lovedones. Ask the opinions of people going for YES and people going for NO.
3. Know who is the majority. I know Peer Pressure is a sensitive issue and you don;t really want to do something just because everyone else does it but maybe there is a particular reason why everyone else is doing it. And you have to know that and to consider that. Because suffering the consequences alone is not really fun at all. compare this with your original decision.
4. RESEARCH. Verify. KNOW THE FACTS. Fearing something that might not exist at all is not cool at all. It deprives you of learning and experience. Know the TRUTH. Find FACTS BY YOURSELF. FIND things which can convince you. Find Scientific evidence.
5. PRAY FIRST BEFORE MAKING THE TABLE. PRAY FOR A CLEAR MIND AND HONEST HEART. After you have heard all the sides, STOP ASKING OTHERS. START ASKING YOURSELF. MAKE THE TABLE. You can make 4 boxes. 2 columns, 2 rows. The division is of course, PROS and CONS and the other is MIND and HEART. The Mind and Heart separation can be eliminated depending on whatever you feel but this table is so important. REMEMBER, STOP ASKING OTHER PEOPLE's OPINIONS.It is very important that you sit through the problem and give yourself ample thinking time.
5. While Listing, here are the points to consider.
-What do you really want? Somehow, there is that small percentage of you thinking about one thing. If by any chance, you can't really think of what you want, imagine yourself doing that thing or going with that particular decision. Can you see yourself with that decision?
-Consider the present and future tense effects of the decision. Do you feel nice or can you at least see yourself doing it? How do you feel? get in touch with your emotions. Face the fact. I guess it is important to face the fact that you need to make a decision and with no holds barred, just list everything.
-List the consequences. CAN YOU BEAR THE RESULTS? Which seem more bearable?
-Know yourself. Know your character and your personality and make it a basis if you think you can bear the results. As for me, I think I have a hard time when I know I hurt people. I value relationships. I also value family. I also value health. I am indecisive and I might regret a decision. But I am optimistic. And I believe I have a powerful mind, with God's grace I know I can manage. Thing is, if all these values are conflicting within the decision making itself, it's really bad. And way confusing!
-For whom are you making the decision?
-How long will the results last?
-What will you miss if you choose one over the other? Is it worth it? Can you stand missing it? Will you have one more chance to experience the same thing?
-What will be the effect on the people around you? To your family? To your workplace? To your friends? to yourself?
-Have you done or received things in the past which should affect your decision?
-If you do one thing,can you manage to avoid its consequences? or at least make yourself believe that you won't have the consequences? If then, maybe choosing that is not too bad after all?
-WHICH HAS MORE BENEFITS TO THE PRESENT AND FUTURE?
-Who are you doing it for?
-WHICH HAS SURER EFFECTS?
6. Pray. Pray so hard and entrust everything to GOD. Pray that you are making the right decision. And just in case it is not right, Pray to God to help you make it right.
7. Take the LEAP. Make the decision. And stop thinking about it. THERE YOU HAVE IT. YOU HAVE THE DECISION ALREADY. LISTEN TO NO ONE. You'll only get confused if you listen to others again or of you weigh things again. Believe that God has guided you throughout the process and that whatever happens, GOD IS GOOD and He will not forsake you. TRUST IN HIM that HE helped you in making the BEST decision and that it is what it is good for you.
8. MAKE YOUR DECISION AND NEVER LOOK BACK...because if you do, you might just retract your decision and go the exact opposite. Remember all the efforts you put through in making the decision and reward yourself by going through with it. Most often, you will just regret by changing your decision. I guess instincts also work here. Just go for that first decision and have the guts to stand by what you chose. You are a GROWN UP now and you need to make up your mind. Waste no time.
9. PRAY AGAIN. And enjoy your decision. AND STOP ASKING OTHERS' opinion! JUST GIVE YOURSELF QUIET TIME. AND RELAX.
---
Yes you did your decision. But what if results are not so good?
Well, you can not do anything but to mend it with goodness and with excellence.
If you mess up, it is natural to feel bad and to be lost. But believe that people forget bad things when good things replace them. Do your best to do good things to people and to amend for whatever mistake you have done. Say sorry and be sincere.
If they do not understand you, understand them. Just be patient. Know that you chose that decision and you have to stand by the consequences no matter what. Don;t blame yourself because you never would have known what would really happen.
STOP THE STRESS and JUST BE HAPPY. JUST BE WORRY FREE. If you keep on worrying, your attitude might be more unlikable and you might just aggravate whatever the bad effect of your decision was. So stop worrying and just out a smile on to your face. EXPLAIN YOUR SIDE ONCE and then BE OPTIMISTIC.. FORGET that there was such an issue.
LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKE. and PROMISE YOURSELF TO DO BETTER NEXT TIME.
---
Making DECISIONS is really a very important skill and you owe it to yourself to think things through. DO NOT BE SWAYED!
If all else fail and you feel so doomed like I do now, SAY TO YOURSELF
"IT IS OK" 100 times.
Clarence,
SAY YOU ARE WELL AND ALL IS WELL WITH YOU AND GOD SHALL HEAR YOUR WORDS AND MAKE THEM TRUE.
OK?
YOU CAN DO IT.
you are a grown up already.
MAKE A CHOICE AND STAND BY IT.
and believe that YOU MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE with the GRACE OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST.
AMEN.
Indecisiveness
I have always admitted that I am an indecisive person.
Here in Japan, they have a term such as 迷っている(read as MAYOTTEIRU), meaning, lost.
I do not know if that is a good thing but one thing is for sure, it takes away much of my thinking time.
Whenever I need to make a BIG decision, what I always do is to ask the people around me. And then, I pray. And then I do the LIST thing. (The LIST things is when I write two columns and I write the PROs and CONS.) This is a bit tricky because somehow, the thing that I really want wins. And when something wins, I pray again and hope I made the right decision. But then again, I talk to others again. And yes, there is that very big chance that I might be swayed again. And so, I just toss a coin. But then there's a saying that, "If you want to know what you really want, toss a coin. You'll know what your heart knows the moment just before the coin lands."
These methods always work. And what I have noticed for the past events, I always manage to make the DIFFICULT CHOICE.
I did this first when I was choosing my course for my University. I was torn between BROADCAST COMMUNICATIONS, ACCOUNTANCY AND ELECTRONICS ENGINEERING. I instantly crossed out Accountancy because I know that I only included that because people were saying that it you pass that in the entrance exam of the university, you must be really good. But that reason was so pointless. All my high school life, all the activities I did leaned to Broadcasting. I was so active in joining speech contests inside and outside school. I was part of the school paper and I was President of the Student Council. I was a Media Personality, at least in our school. Also, I remember that when I was a kid, I wanted to become a newscaster. (I also wanted to become a scientist back then... because the word scientist was cool when you were a first grader.) In summary, I was fitted to be in the BROADCASTING field. But obviously, I chose ECE.
Back then, I think my father has influenced my decision. But I guess the main reason was that because I wanted to have a family. And truth be told, I did not want to be so famous or to be a celebrity. If I become a newscaster, I might be so famous that I might not be able to live a normal life. This reason was so silly it seems like a joke but actually, I considered this. HAHAHA. But I think the primary reason was that I wanted to challenge myself. And Yes, ECE challenged me. It was a hard course but I managed to survive and until now, I still think that it was the right choice.
I always choose the hard choice.
I always choose the one which my heart wants.
I went to Japan because I followed my heart even though my mind was saying that there were so many risks.
Now, I need to make a decision again. A major decision that can affect my life here. I listened to my heart and it says NO. But when I analyze the situation, sometimes, I wish my heart just says YES.
But the thing is, should you make a decision just because you are afraid of the possible consequences that other people might bestow on you if you don't follow the majority? is doing a good thing really good when you're doing it out of fear and not out of your own willingness?
I recently heard that PARANOIA CAN SAVE LIVES.
If that is so, I wish I can be saved.
I really feel so restless these past few days because of this thing that occupies my mind. I am just praying to God so hard this decision I made is for the best and can not in any way affect anything. I am praying so hard that I can surpass whatever effects this may lead to. I pray so hard that God always lead me to the right and safe path.
Being indecisive is not really a good trait most of the time. And I guess that is one thing I really have to work hard to improve.
Here in Japan, they have a term such as 迷っている(read as MAYOTTEIRU), meaning, lost.
I do not know if that is a good thing but one thing is for sure, it takes away much of my thinking time.
Whenever I need to make a BIG decision, what I always do is to ask the people around me. And then, I pray. And then I do the LIST thing. (The LIST things is when I write two columns and I write the PROs and CONS.) This is a bit tricky because somehow, the thing that I really want wins. And when something wins, I pray again and hope I made the right decision. But then again, I talk to others again. And yes, there is that very big chance that I might be swayed again. And so, I just toss a coin. But then there's a saying that, "If you want to know what you really want, toss a coin. You'll know what your heart knows the moment just before the coin lands."
These methods always work. And what I have noticed for the past events, I always manage to make the DIFFICULT CHOICE.
I did this first when I was choosing my course for my University. I was torn between BROADCAST COMMUNICATIONS, ACCOUNTANCY AND ELECTRONICS ENGINEERING. I instantly crossed out Accountancy because I know that I only included that because people were saying that it you pass that in the entrance exam of the university, you must be really good. But that reason was so pointless. All my high school life, all the activities I did leaned to Broadcasting. I was so active in joining speech contests inside and outside school. I was part of the school paper and I was President of the Student Council. I was a Media Personality, at least in our school. Also, I remember that when I was a kid, I wanted to become a newscaster. (I also wanted to become a scientist back then... because the word scientist was cool when you were a first grader.) In summary, I was fitted to be in the BROADCASTING field. But obviously, I chose ECE.
Back then, I think my father has influenced my decision. But I guess the main reason was that because I wanted to have a family. And truth be told, I did not want to be so famous or to be a celebrity. If I become a newscaster, I might be so famous that I might not be able to live a normal life. This reason was so silly it seems like a joke but actually, I considered this. HAHAHA. But I think the primary reason was that I wanted to challenge myself. And Yes, ECE challenged me. It was a hard course but I managed to survive and until now, I still think that it was the right choice.
I always choose the hard choice.
I always choose the one which my heart wants.
I went to Japan because I followed my heart even though my mind was saying that there were so many risks.
Now, I need to make a decision again. A major decision that can affect my life here. I listened to my heart and it says NO. But when I analyze the situation, sometimes, I wish my heart just says YES.
But the thing is, should you make a decision just because you are afraid of the possible consequences that other people might bestow on you if you don't follow the majority? is doing a good thing really good when you're doing it out of fear and not out of your own willingness?
I recently heard that PARANOIA CAN SAVE LIVES.
If that is so, I wish I can be saved.
I really feel so restless these past few days because of this thing that occupies my mind. I am just praying to God so hard this decision I made is for the best and can not in any way affect anything. I am praying so hard that I can surpass whatever effects this may lead to. I pray so hard that God always lead me to the right and safe path.
Being indecisive is not really a good trait most of the time. And I guess that is one thing I really have to work hard to improve.
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